It's been a strange 24 hours.
Yesterday it was just pouring rain but I decided I needed a #PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte. From Starbucks. Obvi.) and as I ran in (there was no drive-thru. Why, God? Why?) I realized I was wearing the most perfectly wrong shoes for the day...not to mention it took me a good 30 minutes to pick out my outfit which was jeans a t-shirt and a scarf. I rarely wear stuff that it matters if it gets jelly wiped on it so I suck at putting anything together now.
30 minutes later:
As I was waiting in line I thought - I should tell people about my poor shoe decision. So I instagrammed it.
How unattractive are flats by the way? They are cute. They are functional. They are not sexy. The total opposite of f@ck me pumps. Anyway....
I #hashtagged this with #flats #fashionblogger #veryfunny as an obvious #Don't Look At Me For Fashion Advice because I'm An Idiot.
I then get a message from what I thought was a fellow blogger because "her" (profile pic is a picture of chick legs in flats) and "her" screen name was Iloveflipflopflats. Cool. A shoe blogger.
"She" said, "Cute on you. Mind if I repost?" I said, "Sure! Just make sure you tag Sugar Free Ear Candy!" because I shamelessly pimp my blog (and you should too because we're friends and that's what we do.)
This all sounds innocent enough.
I get an alert that Iloveflipflopflats tagged me in a post. I checked just to make sure I didn't land on some What Not To Wear site and I was quite surprised to see that I had actually landed on a
FOOT FETISH SITE!
I'm not judging. I'm not judging. I'm not judging.
New followers started rolling in pretty quickly.
I felt dirty. I felt tricked. I felt used. I went to the bathroom and washed the dirty off of my feet. My poor innocent feet. I told them it wasn't their fault. We didn't KNOW better!
I sorta freaked and I started blocking everyone.
Then I calmed down and thought about it....I don't understand the foot fetish deal but is it really any different than people that obsess over legs or butts or boobs?
I unblocked everyone and started looking through their pictures and yeah, I don't get it. Did you know that wearing stockings and shoving your foot in someones face, typically with their mouth duct taped shut is a thing?! I had no idea. I wanted to understand more because I'm sick.
I was more confused. I washed my feet again. I'm not judging but.......
I posted a picture of Chris' hairy feet.
No takers. That must not be a thing...yet.
Unfortunately, for me and my feet, this wasn't my first experience with a person with a foot fetish but that deserves its own post. Remind me to tell you that story some other time...our key word can be "A.C. Slater".
Continuing on with the 24 hours - no more foot porn so don't worry -
Next, Chris and I started watching Scandal. Better late than never. I realized we had been able to watch almost a solid 10 minutes without being interrupted so I look over to find this:
buh-bye security deposit
So, that happened and I don't know what's the bigger disaster - her hair or the wall?
Then, we went to the grocery store and as we were walking in a lady called Chris over to her. She asked him to take the cart inside for her. She wasn't even halfway finished unloading her cart! So what did we do? We stood there and waited on her like a couple of morons because we couldn't believe someone would have the balls to do that. She wasn't old or disabled. She didn't have kids. It wasn't dark outside. She was obviously just lazy and had no shame. So we waited and took her cart for her....who is the idiot in this situation? Don't answer that.
As a side note I'm absolutely terrified of Ebola. I saw Outbreak and I know this doesn't end well. I don't understand why it seems that nothing is being done to keep us safe. There is outrage on Facebook but aside from people sitting around saying how scary and terrible it is, what is being done? What are we supposed to do? It feels like we have no one in office protecting us and it's a scary feeling. I don't know what to do so I'm going to focus on the positive and that is my new career in foot porn. It's the perfect job for me. I don't even have to shower. I don't have to do anything except sit around and post pictures of my feet. Make sure you follow me and my feet on Instagram.