You know those people who are anxious and wound a little too tight? Hi. Sometimes we get to this point where we just get quiet and we have absolutely nothing to say. I have had nothing to say which is a terrible thing when you run a blog and are supposed to put quality content out on the regular. I mean, the masses are waiting, all 66 of you. I apologize. I am so sorry I've let you down. It's just that it's this time of year. Fuck me, man.
Vertigo doesn't have shit on holidays when you have kids or hell, even if you don't have kids! Because other people have kids so you're gonna be around them and they are fucking monsters this time of year. Every time you turn around you see a freaking table full of cookies with 3 gallons of icing per snowman cookie. What is that about? Why are there so many desserts everywhere? I took a shower and when I got out someone had set up a dessert table in the bathroom.
My heart has been pounding out of my chest and it makes perfect sense when I think about it.
Camryn has had fucking chocolate cupcakes shoved down her throat every ten minutes like her life depends on having a certain amount of icing consumption or death will take her. I swear, pop a vein on that kid and chocolate icing is shooting out. She shits sprinkle doughnuts on the regular now. So, right now I'm sitting in my living room with nothing to say and with 30 minutes to get ready for the final Christmas production of MY TIGHTS ARE TOO ITCHY and almost every family member we have will be there which means Camryn will most likely meltdown because she'll have already ingested enough sugar for the year OR will be withdrawing. She'll see Chris and flip out because he's 10 feet away which is entirely too far. He'll end up holding her on stage and she'll wrap around his head like a human scarf.
I'll be sweating and checking my heart rate in the corner because I just don't know what else to do. I know that I'll be taking the Cupcake Princess home only she isn't a princess she's like a bipolar crackhead and she's going to throw a monster tantrum at some point today when the sugar levels become unbalanced and that's been a pretty ugly site lately. I made the mistake of opening the door the other day and that was just enough to send her into a throwing her blankie screaming meltdown. Don't even ask what happened when I drove under a bridge the other day....even though we were on the highway and had driven under 100 bridges that day. That ONE bridge wasn't to be driven under because....who the fuck knows! Because she needed something to scream about. Anyway, I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship AGAIN. I try to not make eye contact and just keep my head down until we make it through Christmas, IF we make it through Christmas and if we do I'm admitting her into a kiddie rehab for help with her sugar and attention addiction.
And with that, I'm going to face my fear and figure out something to wear that isn't sweatpants although I think black sweatpants should be acceptable because they are black and because #fashionblogger.
P.S. These buttons down here actually mean A LOT to me - click them so I can enjoy some sort of success before I stroke out. Thanks, babe.
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