So maybe you aren't the best looking, or the smartest, or the richest guy but HEY! at least you aren't these guys! Here are 5 guys that are making you look like you are the BEST MAN on the planet!
1. You're not Robin Thicke. So he ripped off a song, or knew that Pharrell Williams ripped it off, or no, he was just really high on vicodin for a year? Oh and when he told his wife the truth that's why she left. Or maybe she left because he is a liar face, had his hand up a chicks skirt and is the kind of guy that will write an entire pathetic album trying to get a girl back (but we all know he was just trying to sell some records). GAG. He should've just played her some Marvin Gaye and kept his hands in his own skirt.
3. You aren't Adrian Peterson. He may want to start counting how many "pops" he gives all of his kids because 10-15 with a "switch" on a 4 year old will land your ass in some seriously hot water. Listen, my brother and sister met the switch from my grandmother when we were little and I got a spanking with a belt but that doesn't mean it's right....especially 10-15 times on a 4 year old KID with at least one of those "popping" his scrotum. Adrian, you're over 6 feet tall and over 200lbs...certainly you can get through to your kids without a piece of a tree.
4. You aren't Roger Goodell. Is he pulling punishments out of a hat? 2 games for knocking a woman unconscious. 1 game for being indicted on child abuse charges? You can basically get kicked out of the league for smoking pot...because everyone knows that pot heads are the real issue here. I've never seen someone high on good ol' Mary Jane being violent on anything more than a bag of Doritos. Maybe we need to dress Mr. Goodell up like a lady and shove him in an elevator with Ray Rice?
5. You aren't Obama. Why? Because FAIL.