Camryn has developed quite the flare for dramatics, which comes directly from Chris’ side of the family. My family, whose conversations revolve solely around mysterious, undiagnosed illnesses and what if scenarios have not added anything to her flare.
I love watching her get in her own world and play and talk to her imaginary friends – plus it gives me a break from her questioning me. Most days I feel like I’m being interrogated – I can feel the heat from the lamp above my head as I cry out PLEASE PLEASE JUST LET ME GO! I’LL TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!
WHERE ARE TIGERS FROM? She demands?
What? I’m in traffic, the dog is in the car breathing her hot breath all over us, it’s 900 degrees with 1000000% humidity Camryn is on question 120953982659623987 of interrogation and it’s 9am.
"Tigers…..are…..from Africa." I say half knowing what I’m saying. Most of my days are spent saying words. I don’t know the words I’m saying. I don’t know the words I’m hearing all I know is I need to say the words because she’s shining the bright light of wonder and torture in my face.
She busts out laughing. "Tigers aren’t from AFRICA! Tigers are in India! Lions are in Africa! MOOOOOOMMMM! Did you say the wrong word?! Did you say they tigers are from Africa? Mom, why did you say the wrong word?"
Jesus, help me.
She still mocks me and that happened weeks ago.
So today I decided to give her an old iPhone so she can listen to Princess music and I can listen to not princess music. She’s been taking it around the house acting out the songs and singing in her loudest proudest tone-deaf voice but its doing nothing but adding to her flare for dramatics.
We had Beauty & The Beast on and at one point there is this enchanted chariot that looks like a spider. I (innocently and stupidly) walk in the room and she throws herself on the bed pretend sobbing "MOMMY PLEASE DON’T THROW ME IN THE SPIDER CAGE! PLEASE! NOT AGAIN!"
"Camryn, I would never put you in a spider cage and you can’t say stuff like that or they will take you away from me."
(Laughing) "Hey Mom, remember when we went to Home Depot and you said Tigers were from Africa?"
Into the spider cage!