This embarrassment dates back only to 2009. It’s a little more forgivable when it is a child in a terrible costume but when it's an adult it’s a whole new kind of awful. This time the costumes weren’t necessarily the problem….okay; my costume was probably a pretty big problem. The bigger problem was the audience. You should always know your audience and I thought I did. I was wrong...horribly, horribly wrong.
We had a friend that was hosting a party at a place that is a very artsy, hipster type of place. A holy land for people that are much deeper and cooler than we could ever dream of being. Chris and I are neither artsy nor hipster. Somehow this sounded like a ton of fun to me so I invited a handful of other friends with the promise that this was going to be THE Halloween party of 2009.
Back then the TV show The Office was pretty damn popular in the standard, non-artsy, non-acid dropping crowd.
We, okay I, decided that we would recreate the Halloween episode of The Office. That is pretty specific so I was betting pretty big that the people at this party were going to be die hard Office fans. Chris with his bald head would go as 3 Hole Punch Jim (who is known for his mop of hair). I would go as his love interest Pam who dressed up as a cat in the episode we were recreating. Finally, Chris’ friend would go as Paper Mache Head Michael Scott who played the boss in the show.
I paper mached the shit out of a head for our friend Dave to wear.
We pulled up to the party. It looked promising from the car but as soon we stepped out of the car and I heard the indie-house music (I’m not entirely sure what that even means.) I knew that we were in the absolute wrong place in our pop-culture themed costumes.
I don’t know what the other people were dressed as. I really don’t. All I remember seeing were brightly colored bears and other characters that I’m not familiar enough with to name. It was bad. I saw a bunch of people that made it crystal clear that we had stumbled into the wrong rabbit hole.
Our friends showed up. We were pop cultured the f&*k out! In our group we had Lady Gaga, Kanye (by the way Joel is a tall, thin, white guy dressed as Kanye), the freaking cast of The Office from a very specific episode, Billy Mayes and a nun.
Not good. I was sweating because all of this awkwardness was totally my fault and I was getting really strange looks. Halloween is the day to dress like a total whore and here I am at a hipster-indie-electronica meeting ground dressed as a freakin’ Amish cat.
I looked ridiculous. I felt nauseous. I was uncomfortable. My anxiety was starting to flare up. My red frizzy wig itched and my calf length skirt was too tight. My panty hose were squeezing me and making me too hot. Panty hose…again with the panty hose!
I explained to people that the red frizz wasn’t actually my hair. Not that they asked.
One purple thing asked, “So, what are you? A cat?”
In the beginning I tried explaining, “Have you ever seen The Office? No, not AN office. THE Office, the TV show. It’s really funny. Really. You should totally check it out when you get cable in your teepee or hut or whatever you live in.”
It was a lost cause. I was a very conservative cat and Chris was a lost business man with a weird shirt and we both had bad hair.
But, I think we nailed the costumes. Wrong party but the costumes were pretty spot on, right?
Next up: My costume makes my best friend hide and cry BUT it is finally a costume that doesn’t involve panty hose...for me anyway.