Ladies, we need to talk. We need to talk about how we talk to ourselves and each other. See this eCard that we can ALL relate to? We need to change that.
I have started this new exercise routine/group/challenge (this is not an exercise post and I will not be posting bikini pictures of myself or asking you to join a cult, so please stop gagging and rolling your eyes and keep reading) I'm only a week in but what I am seeing in this group is really mind blowing. If you've been on Pinterest or ever watch Bravo (and if you are reading my blog I'm guessing those would both be answered with a big fat YES!) you've seen the Tone It Up girls. Not only are they gorgeous with amazing bodies but they are brilliant and NICE! Say what?! What they have created is magical. Read all about them right here at Tone It Up
See! Two girls you'd love to hate if they weren't so damn likable!
The community of women that they have created and brought together is uplifting, motivating, positive, real, and empowering. Never before have I seen such an INCLUSIVE group of women. Groups of women are generally very exclusive, which sucks. I've had those friends before and I've been victim of those types of girls and they are awful and generally pretty miserable...kind of like a pack of hyenas
With this group I've gotten motivational messages and comments from women I've never met before and check this, I've sent complete strangers messages too! There is something about lifting another woman up and telling her how beautiful and strong and amazing she is and what a great job she is doing that brings a happiness to me that not even an incredible spray tan, fantastic hair day and incredible pair of shoes can bring to me. Deep, right?
(**Side note** If you are in Atlanta and haven't gotten a spray tan at Spray Studio Atlanta you haven't lived. Period. Alicia is the owner and she is another brilliant, positive, gorgeous woman that is making her dreams happen! Trust me, you need to go there.)
Tonight, while I was soaking my worn out muscles, I really started thinking about how women treat each other and how we treat ourselves. A fellow blogger, Pecked To Death By Chickens, recently wrote an article about how we need to learn to take a compliment and accept and own the good things about ourselves. Can I get an amen?! Check that post out right HERE.
There is a lot of eye rolling going on woman to woman. I think a lot of it is purely based on insecurities. It's kind of like your Mom always said when anyone was mean to you, "Oh honey, they are just jealous!" Guess what? I think 90% of the time Mom was spot on. The other 10% is reserved for people who actually do just suck at life and they are out there sucking the life out of the party with their shitty little attitudes.
We act like if anyone has success we need to tear it apart. Bash her success. Bash her. Burn her at the stake! That may be a little much but you know that you've heard or said something like: "Well, yeah, she got that promotion but she probably spent a lot of time on her knees for it." or "She's got a great body if you like that anorexic look, or butch look or if you want to neglect your kids and spend all your time in the gym." I mean, we could really keep on going but why don't we JUST.STOP.
Just because someone else is succeeding doesn't mean you can't succeed too!
There isn't a limited amount of success for the planet that we are all fighting for. For God's sake instead of ripping someone down why not lift them up? It will make you feel better and make you less of a shitty person. Win, win! Go out and DO what YOU want to do! Be successful. I promise you can do it!
You want to lose weight? You can do it! I promise!
You want to get your degree? Go get it! Make it happen!
Want to have a squirrel circus and take them on tour? It's probably not your best idea but I don't think anyone else has done it so go ahead and do it! Go get those squirrels! Train those little suckers!
I'm not preaching. I'm guilty of all of this, too. I am so hard on myself. I can't take a compliment without feeling like an asshole. I'm scared of doing things where I may fail or look like an idiot. I can name more horrible things about myself than my worst enemy could ever dream up.
Here's an example: I love writing. I've been a "writer" since I was a kid. I used to write book reports for fun. I read an entire collection of Jacques Cousteau and wrote reviews of them...for myself. Did ya get that? I read a book and wrote a review of it purely for my own entertainment when I was in 3rd grade. I was also really cool incase you aren't picking up on that. I wrote fictional stories, which my loving older brother recently sent to me...Math Book Alive....anyone interested? Anyone?
I set this blog up in 2010 after thinking about it for over a year and I didn't actually click publish on a thing until 2013 because I was too scared and thought I would suck. You may think I suck but guess what? I'm doing what I love so suck on that.
Let's stop comparing ourselves to each other and instead give props and keep on working.
Now, there are those girls that toot their own horn plenty and by plenty I mean they need to stop it, like, right now. There is a BIG, FAT, HUGE difference in being proud of your accomplishments and being a complete bragger that everyone wants to smother with a pillow. Be proud but stay humble or someone may try to smother you and I can't promise that I'll try to stop them. I won't. I won't stop them. I will hand them the pillow. I do not like a bragger.
Okay, now that we are being kinder to one another how about we just take it down a notch and be a little sweeter to ourselves?
I have a girlfriend and I swear to hear her talk about herself you would think that a forklift had to hoist her up and pull her out of a greased window to get her out of the house everyday. She really believes these horrible things she says and thinks about her body. It's LUDACRIS! This girl is stunning, a great mother, witty, hot bod, etc. I mean, you want it, she's got it and she can't even see it to flaunt it...which is probably why I love her so much.
You've all seen the Dove ad campaign that shows that what we see of ourselves is not at all what other people see. Let's just make a promise to one another that for every hateful thing we say to ourselves that we'll think of something that isn't so dreadfully awful about ourselves. Can we do that?
At least internally let's just try to see ourselves the way our mothers see us...which is perfect....okay, maybe the way our Aunt sees us...a few flaws but overall pretty damn close to perfect. What a lovely way to think of yourself!
We all ultimately want the same things in life; to be happy, healthy, loved and safe. I want those things and you know what? I want those things for you too! I want you to kick so much ass at whatever it is that you want to do. I really do. Maybe I know you, maybe I don't know you, maybe we know each other and you don't really like me...I still want those things for you.
If there is one thing I learned while bathing with inbreds...what? You don't know what I'm talking about? Read about how and why I bathe with inbreds right HERE! So, what I learned while bathing with inbreds, is that we truly are all beautiful. Our parts may hang differently or be hairier or different colors but we are all beautiful. It's true. We don't need to be PERFECT we just have to be a work in progress that is moving forward and helping people up along the way....