Camryn got tubes in her ears but this isn't about that. This is about what CHRIS did when she was getting tubes. Let me set the scene.
We get to the hospital late, late is our MO, and Camryn was starving since she wasn't allowed to eat before her surgery which was set to start at 10:30 a.m. Okay, so, Camryn has channeled her inner Burger the Cat and has unleashed him on the masses. If you don't know about Camryn's inner Burger the Cat click HERE! She, much like myself, doesn't handle hunger or really any other sensation except absolute perfect conditions well. Too hot, too cold, too sleepy, too hungry and all hell breaks loose.
The nurse comes and gets us which causes Camryn to take the freak out level up a notch. No joke, she started saying her neck hurt and I bet it did the way she was flailing around like a crazy person.
She continued to throw anything within arms distance around in a hunger rage and act like a rabid animal.
Chris and I were keeping a pretty good sense of humor about us because she really was being ridiculous and we were both tired, hungry and nervous about the procedure. Nervous laughter. I can only imagine what the nurse was thinking. The kid is out of control and saying her neck hurts and the idiot parents are laughing.
We go into our little waiting room to wait for the anesthesiologist to come chat with us but first Camryn got to go to a toy cabinet and choose whatever toy she would like. Distraction tactics, I love it.
Here were the options:
Here is what she chose:
Just kidding she chose this:
What little girl wants a soft pink bunny when you can have a blue dragon that breathes fire? Now her favorite thing to talk about is, "Blue Dragon breathes fire!"
Camy was content for the moment being distracted with her blue dragon when the Dr. comes in and drops off some "no big deal" paperwork for us to read over and drops off a gown for whichever lucky soul has to walk Camy back to be "put under".
We took a quick vote and Chris was going back. No way was I going to be the sucker that saw that. Nope.
I picked up the "no big deal" paperwork that was breezily dropped off and began reading all of the "unlikely" yet horrific scenarios that could happen during and after this quick 5 minute procedure. The nervous laughter was wearing off and I was just nervous. Like, we gotta get the hell out of here nervous. I hatched a quick plan. Chris needed to pull the car around, I would run out with Camy, she would throw the dragon at their faces and we would be outta there before anyone knew what was going on! I turn to Chris to tell him my master escape plan.
There he was.
In almost ALL of his glory.
Pulling down his pants.
Chris was stripping down to put the gown on...like he was the one going in for surgery.
I could kick myself for opening my mouth....
"Do you think you need to take your clothes off to walk her back?" I asked him.
"They gave me a gown." He said.
I said, and I still don't know WHY I said this, "Uhm, I think you put the gown OVER your clothes."
At this point it all started to make sense to him and we couldn't stop laughing.
We still laugh about the thought of him getting kicked out of the children's hospital for walking around with his butt shining out of the back of the gown.
Later I asked him just how much he was planning on taking off and he said, "Oh I was going all the way!" I just wish I would've been able to see the look on their faces when they came to get Camy and there is Chris....naked in a gown for a 5 step walk around the corner.
Nerves were a little shot and common sense sometimes escapes us both. He should've known to slip the gown over his clothes and I should've known to keep my mouth shut and let the Doctor or nurse school him on gown etiquette when you aren't the one being operated on.